Thursday, June 18, 2009

I thought i already told you that I wanna have dinner with you to celebrate your birthday and you said okay.
Obviously its either you don't care, don't bother, didn't remember.
You didn't put it to heart.
You told me that you wanna spend my birthday together, I immediately pushed everything forward just to be with you and waited for you to be back on my birthday.
And You can't do the same thing.
I'm disappointed. Nevermind. Forget it. Everything i planned gone to naught. Haiz. Spend it well with your family. I'm not included. I'll just find something to entertain myself bah. Maybe some sleep will help. I won't say anything anymore. Nevermind. I don't know and I give up trying. Seems that I wasn't wanted. Period. Off to sleep. Last edited 9.36pm.


_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 6:50:00 pm__


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Friday, June 12, 2009

My world is crashing.
Did i do anything to deserve anything?
Why do i have to choose between my family and him?

I feel so hurt, so lost and so confused.
I had no idea which way to go.

He's preparing to move out.
Packing his things since yesterday.
One bag two bags etc.

I kept crying the whole night till I'm tired.
Just woke up with my eyes in a painful mess.
I couldn't stop crying.
My eyes hurt.
Maybe everyone would be happier if I didn't exist.
I'm contemplating suicide.
I really don't know which way to go.
I'm losing all my hope and happiness.
I'm a hopeless wretch now.
Guess I'm just a toy or a tool to everyone.
Family took me for granted, used my name to sign up for home phone line as well as broadband, then not even paying the bills. And now they also used my name to sign for handphone line and a wireless modem, they did pay for it but didn't clear the bills on time.
What do they take me for?!
Then when things happen its always my fault?
Has it ever occur to them that how can I get married when i'm carrying all those debts under my name?!
Did they ever think about that at all?

<to be continued in next post>



_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 11:48:00 pm__


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Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Argh! I'm really getting depressed.
I really don't get it.
How dense or idiotic can someone get?
Fancy calling someone who's not your boyfriend or no longer your intimate boyfriend and the guy already has a steady girlfriend, things like 'hubby', 'dear' and 'darling'.
Do You really have no common sense or anything?
How the hell would you feel if another girls calls your intimate boyfriend 'hubby, ' dear' or 'darling'.
If it were to happen to you, how'd you react?
Any girl would be saddened by that.
They would think that ' My boyfriend hasn't totally severed his BGR ties with the girl properly, and that girl is constantly calling my bf by those names, are they secretly going out? or the flame is re-kindled? or is she attempting to snatch my love away?'
As a girl kindly put yourself in another girl's shoes and think if it is appropriate to do such a thing.
in other words, KINDLY USE YOUR BRAIN.
Yes, you may say that I'm conservative ro whatever but don't you yourself know how frigging sensitive and insecure a girl can get?
Maybe its just me,.
But KEEP YOUR PAWS OFF MY LOVE.
He's not your boyfriend anymore.
SO GET OVER IT!
Pardon me for ranting. I have to get it off my chest somewhere or I won't be able to sleep tonight.
ARGH!
FUCK!
I'm feeling very very irritable now.
I need my Teddy Bear Hugs.
FUCKING NS/SAF SUCK BIG TIME.


_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 12:40:00 am__


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[[ | Who cares? | Contemplationz @ work~ | I love my Hubby Alex~! ]]
`you R_
+ Name : Kelly / Mizuhara Misha / 장미샤
+ Nick: iZgNiL, LiNgZi, †Misha-
+ D.O.B: 29th March
+ Gender: Female

`lovEs_
+ Design
+ Alex Hubby
+ Music
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`hatEz_
+ Rude mannerisms
+ Jerks
+ Vulgarities esp CB (i do say it when i'm extremely angry though)
+ Smokers

`wisHlist_
+ Alex Hubby
+ Trip to japan
+ A Laptop
+ Mp3 player
+ Camera + Video Camera
+ Love, Care & Concern

`toDOlist_
+ Eat
+ Dance
+ Sleep
+ Cosplay
+ Listening to songs
+ Designing
+ Plastering myself to Alex Hubby

`linko_
Friendster Profile +

My Hubby
Alex Hubby's Blog +

Others
my Wretch bloggie +
My First Blog +



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